My last post I spoke about dating and what it is. In this post I will begin my subject of courtship. Courtship is an "old-fashioned" term as my sister-in-law put it. She is right. You do not find many couples at all these days that practice this thing of courtship. When I've asked some people what they think courtship is they say it is just like dating only the people goes to church together or to eat or things like that. They don't go to clubs or anywhere that couples go dating at. Well...couples that court do go to church together but they go with the accompaniment of one of the sets of parents. As I said in my last post...the couple is never left alone at any point in order to give place to the devil to tempt the couple to engage in anything that the Lord would not be pleased with.
People will say...where is courtship in the Bible. Well...God does not come right out and say "courtship is done this way or that way". He does give us some guidelines however to go by. God tells us in His Word to "have no confidence in the flesh". That means we cannot trust our flesh. Our flesh will lead us astray. He also tells us in I Corinthians 7:1 "...it is good for a man not to touch a woman". There is a reason why God says this. For a man to touch a woman before marriage can and will arouse certain physical feelings that can and will lead to fornication. Fornication is a sin. Galatians 5:19 "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness", and I Thessalonians 4:3 "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:". When the flesh is aroused...fornication is usually the end result. So in order to abstain from being tempted to commit fornication it is wise to never find yourself alone with your courting partner. To be alone with them is not to be courting but to be dating.
I cannot tell you enough about how the flesh will get a couple into trouble. I know first-hand how it can get a couple into trouble.
How both sets of parents are handling things with the courtship of OUR children is we are not letting them even shake hands. You might ask..."Did they shake hands before their courtship began?" Yes, they did. But they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend then. Now they are and we want to obey the Scriptures to the fullest and not give place to feelings of the flesh that might cause them to be tempted to sin even in their heart. We want them to keep their thoughts about one another clean and pure. After talking to my son's girlfriend she agreed that even a handshake could cause feelings to be aroused that they ought not be feeling till their wedding night. If we are guilty of carrying this courtship (as some would say) a little too far...then so be it. Our desire and the desire of our children is to honor the Lord in this courtship. We also enforce a 6" rule (at least...could be more than that) when they sit together whether at church or in either of the homes. Why 6" you might ask...so they won't touch when moving around or shifting around. There is to be NO touching at all. Their first touch will be on their wedding day when Jessica's dad places her hand in Ronnie's at the wedding altar. That is also when their first kiss will take place after they are pronounced husband and wife. These things are things that Ronnie and Jessica will look back on after they are married and say they are glad they did. I would love to say that my relationship with my husband had been handled this way. But it wasn't. I didn't know the Lord then nor did I know how He wants things to be handled. Now that I know...I want to be obedient in doing things His way with my children.
I think I have explained the touching subject the best I know how in this post. I will be going through some of the things that we are expecting from our son and Jessica in the next post(s). I will also go about how courtship is to be done by the man in the courtship in how he goes about courting the prospective lady. There is a lot of prayer involved before and during the courtship. So be sure to read the following post(s) as I attempt to explain this issue of courtship.
Some think courtship sounds boring and dull. I can tell you that we have been very excited about this and my son and Jessica are having a ball. So don't let the devil throw you a bunch of lies about it. He likes dating because it ruins lives!! Courtship can too if not handled right. But when it is handled God's way it can and will be a blessing.